Would I Meet God!

It was silence all around. There was nothing to be seen, nothing to be heard other than my breath... I kept on looking at the sky, there were no thoughts in my mind. I was just enjoying the sky. It was up and out there. So far and dark...


How nice would it have been to be there so high in the sky... with no feet touching the ground. Passing between the stars, the puffy clouds and the depth of the sky. Would I have reached the land of joy, happiness and love. Or is there a land of hatred and sadness. Is there a land of new promise there. Would I meet God there...

A day from her life

Am quite lost in the game of life...

At one side is the need to love and be loved and on the other side is the need to be independant.
A stark realisation that may be I would give up everything just to be with the one I love - I mean my individuality, likes and dislikes, my needs. Even if he has other women in life, I just want to be there with him knowing that he'll be there and that I can love him.

IS THAT TRUE??????

I thougt I was a strong, smart and independant woman. What am I doing?
Am I the weakling who cannot even stand up for herself Or am I the one who has lost the battle even before it began. What is my need in the relationship that I dont even value myself - Am I so despearte for his love.

Yes, truth is very much that - I love him and wants him to love me the way I do.

I have left my world, my friends, my passions for him - and am now asking him not to leave me and go when he has found greener pastures. But he has gone away and does not seem to listen.

Why did I leave my world, my interests and passions for him. Coz I loved him and wanted him to feel comfortable with me and I thought I was being a loving partner doing all that..

Was I really?????? Dont think so. Inspite of all that, we have drifted off all the way from where we started. We have begun to look at life differently

He feels like a winner and I like a loser. He feels he has achieved success and for me that is nothing without real self. He finds life in relationships other than ours and in the other things which are superficial according to me and me - I feel that there is no point in having other relationships when we are not even sure of whats happening within us and our intimate relationships.

I ask him -

Aren't you trying to look in other relationships what you dont have in this relationship? Cant you tell me what you miss here and cant you invest a little here so that we can build this up.

Dont you remember the dreams and promises of us being together..
Dont you remember the walks we took along the gardens hand in hand..
Dont you remember the silent promises that we gave each other to be with each other for the rest of our lives??

Can we start all over again and love each other the way we thought we did..
Can I expect the world to be nice and be there with me in my struggle
Would he want the things the same way I do..
Can you love ME and be there with me
Can you tell me when I lose way and forget you on the path of life..

Can you tell me your dreams and let me walk along with you in the shades of life

Is it too late.... have I missed the bus???

Tired

am tired... just blank tired..
there's no thought in my head, no feelings in my heart..
no plans for tomorrow, no pending work
no hurry about cooking, nothing about the trip tomorrow

am tired..

Is it over??????

I didn't speak to him any of what I was feeling..
But I felt he was closed too.. was he tired of trying to make an effect..

Or Is it all over.. was that our last private meeting...
what do I tell my heart which is beating..
what do I tell my eyes which does not meet him eye to eye..

He's leaving and will we meet after that. was this meant to be like this..
what was my purpose in meeting him..
Did I mean anything to him...
will he call me again..

I yearn for him .. I ll miss his voice, his charming ways, his smile and the way he says
#@!#@^%

He'll be in my dreams, thoughts and my eyes..
And that will be enough for now..
And tomorrow I'll forget him to move to the next one

Did you find me

Did you find me..

I lost myself in the rush hours of the day..
somewhere in the sleep at the night..
somewhere on the road to Pondicherry...
some time between the dreams and the reality..

Or was it when I was burning the midnight oil
and preparing all those reports...

was it when I look'd at him and got lost in his eyes
or when I got drenched in the rain and walked..

Did you find me.

Am I there in your thoughts during the day..
Do I torture you in your hot dreams during the night..

Was I there in the beach that we passed by where the sun was setting..
Was I there amongst the endless stream of people passing by the airport entrance.

I miss me.. Did you find me...

the missed rain...

it rained and rained ....
there was the cool breeze outside....she could sense that...
twas warm inside.. she had the fan switched on...
she continued reading the Archies she had in her hand.
past an hour, her friend called and spoke about the wonderful climate and the way it filled her with happiness and good memories. She felt good hearing her after a long time.She smiled and stepped into the balcony...

It had stopped raining....

I am...

restless to start with. Many thoughts crowd around, plans for the day goes haywire.. and sometimes I wonder what have I been doing with life..
Has it been a waste of life, of all the good things I have had..
cud someone else have made better use of my life...
would someone else want my life..
Nope .. I realise I would not want to trade on my life for anything.
I luv myself, my hubby and our times..
I luv my life guys.. whatever is happening and however it is..